Betraying a Trust
August 4, 2004

by Rose Murdock

…the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." 1 Samuel 18:1

David and Jonathan were very close friends.  Their relationship included a deep trust.  David trusted Jonathan with his life (1 Samuel 20), even though Jonathan’s father was David’s worst enemy.  Yet Jonathan never used his friendship with David to promote his own purposes.  Jonathan was the son of the King—a potential heir to the throne.  But he helped David so that David could live and become the next King as God had purposed.

God’s purpose in us gaining someone’s trust is not so that we can use them to further our own purposes.  That’s simply political thinking.  People have become quite skilled at gaining someone’s trust by giving an air of love and concern.  But once the other person lets down their guard and trusts them then the true motive will begin to operate.  It may, of course, be subtle but it is there.

I’m not trying to promote suspicion or paranoia in anyone.  But this is something we need to be aware of.  However, instead of looking at how others may try and manipulate us, let’s look at it from the aspect of our own motives.  When we show compassion towards a person and they begin to trust us more and more, what do we do with what they have entrusted to us?  The godly thing would be to use the trust they’ve placed in us to speak words of wisdom and life to them.  To speak words of encouragement in the things of God.  To speak godly counsel to them.  But oftentimes, maybe without even realizing it, we may begin to use that trust to sway them to our way of thinking.

We may not do this intentionally.  But we need to look at the advice and counsel we give to others.  Are we concerned with them drawing closer to the Lord to fulfill His plan for their lives?  Or do we look at them as a resource to help us to accomplish our plans?  Of course we all help each other, and really we can all be ‘resources’ for each other because we are all part of the same body.  But how do we ensure that we’re not taking advantage of others and trying to manipulate them?

To keep from betraying a person’s trust and confidence we need to first of all take a look at our own heart and make sure that we are not serving our own agenda.  If we still have selfish motives in our own heart then we will take the trust of another person and begin to use it to accomplish our own purposes.  That’s just the way selfish human nature is.  But if we have truly laid down our own agenda for the agenda of God then that is the first step towards ensuring that we won’t betray the confidence and trust another person places in us.

Sometimes because of insecurities in our lives we want to surround ourselves with people who verbalize their belief in us and in what we our doing.  King Saul was this way.  It bothered him that people were verbalizing their trust in David over him (1 Samuel 18:5-9).  Those insecurities have to be dealt with or they will interfere with our relationships with others.  If we feed off of the acceptance and praise of people then we will do whatever it takes to get it—even to the point of betraying a person’s trust.

If we are truly interested in pleasing God and in walking in the ways of His Kingdom then we need to ask the Lord to show us any selfishness or insecurities we may have.  We need to ask Him to show us in what ways our plans and pursuits are our own instead of His.  And then once He begins to show us these things we need to be willing to lay them down in exchange for His plans and purposes.

It’s not always an easy thing to do to look at the motives of our heart.  We become protective of them and don’t always want to see what’s there.  It may be a painful thing to see what’s truly motivating us because oftentimes the selfish motivations we have are due to past hurts and pain.  We’ve developed these selfish motivations to protect ourselves.  But the truth is that the more light we walk in, the more we allow God to show us and reveal to us what’s really in our own heart, then the more freedom and victory we will be able to live in.  We’ll be happier and more full of His love, peace and joy!

Selfish motivations are really keeping us in bondage.  They’re not protecting us; they’re binding us.  And if we have the courage to let them go we will experience a new level of freedom that we never have before.  Let’s make the choice to be a people who uses the trust that others place in us to speak the counsel of God that will help them to discover and unleash God’s purposes and plans for their own life.

"Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend’s counsel that comes from the heart." Proverbs 27:9 The Amplified Bible