by Rose Murdock

Impossible?  I don't know but I think some of us can practice this heavenly atmosphere now.  To do so, look at your world--your family.  And since you can't control what your other family members do then look at yourself.  Do you accept your family members for who they are?  Do you allow them to be who they are or do you criticize their choices?  Do you look down upon their behavior?  Do you make demands on them?  What do you expect out of them? 

Each one of us will need to ask ourselves these questions in order to begin spreading this "heavenly atmosphere".  We'll need to judge our attitude and our behavior instead of those around us.  You'll need to change your expectations of others and look at yourself. 

Are you discouraged or angry because there is a relationship in your life that isn't what you think it should be?  If so, it's because you're requiring or expecting certain things out of that relationship that aren't there.  And as long as you keep those expectations you will continue to be disappointed.  A healthy relationship isn't one where the other person does everything that you want.  A healthy relationship is one where both of you accept each other for who you are and allow each other to express their love in their own way.  If you are telling someone else how they should "love" you then it isn't their own expression of love is it?  Is that really love?  And if you do finally get them to go along with your demands then how sincere is their "love"? 

In an ideal relationship, both people will allow each other this freedom.  But my guess is that most of the people you know don't do this.  Or maybe they do it to a certain level.  But the fact is, you can't control what other people do.  The only person you can control is yourself.  So you are the one that needs to put on the heavenly attitude of love and acceptance regardless of what others do.  You can't wait for them to be perfect or for them to do what you want first.  You've got to take the first step and take it for as long as necessary.  Your attitude of love and acceptance is not dependent on what they do, (or don't do).  It's a choice you make because it's the right choice.  It does no good to criticize them because they're not doing the right thing. 

The minute you find yourself criticizing someone you need to understand that that is the moment you are beginning to try and control them.  And you are setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.  You might say, 'but you have no idea what they are doing!'  True.  But everyone has a God-given right to their own free will.  Not even God will take that right away.  And of course, there are consequences to a person's choices, but if you try and take away another person's right to make their own choices then you have stepped out of the heavenly atmosphere and into the dark cloud of selfishness and self-centeredness.  Life becomes gloomy.

People seem to have a natural tendency to look at their relationships and expect others to make them happy.  This happens when we try and avoid making peace with God.  The people in your life cannot replace the peace that comes from knowing God.  When you stray from God you'll find yourself looking to people to try and fill that void.  It doesn't work.  To have truly healthy relationships with those in your life you'll need Jesus to restore your relationship with God.  And then, because of the peace that brings, you'll be able to accept others as they are and won't be trying to change them.  You won't need them to change.  You'll already be at peace and content and won't need anything from them.  You are now free to love them and give to them without expecting or needing anything in return.

Learn to enjoy the discovery of who the other people in your world are.  It may make you feel disorganized or out of control.  But that's the beauty of it.  When a fresh wind blows it sometimes messes things up.  But without it the air becomes stagnant.  So sit back and quit trying to organize all the relationships in your life into something that you think they should be.  Just let them be who they are and let your relationships grow from acceptance--not criticism.  True peace and joy await you!

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