Nice: "Pleasing and agreeable in nature; enjoyable.  Having a pleasant or attractive appearance.  Courteous and polite; considerate.  Of good character and reputation; respectable." ¹

"Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth?  I tell you, not at all, but rather division."  Jesus, Luke 12:51 NKJ

One of the biggest misunderstandings about Christianity by both those who are Christians and those who are not is that to be a Christian means you always have to be "nice."  People misunderstand what it means to turn the other cheek, love your enemies, do good to those that hate you and pray for those who use and persecute you.  (Matthew 5:38-48-)

Christians and non-Christians alike have thought that as a Christian you’re always supposed to be polite and agreeable.  Don’t rock the boat.  Don’t talk about Jesus and definitely don’t offend anyone.  There is a spirit of antichrist in the world today (that’s been around since Jesus’ time), that would like to see Christians unable to live as Christians.  To water down their beliefs to such a point that they have a ‘form of godliness but deny the power.’  The Bible says to turn away from those (2 Timothy 3:5).

Jesus said to turn the other cheek but He also said:

"Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.  But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.  Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth.  I did not come to bring peace but a sword.  (Matthew 10:32-34 NKJ)

Who do we care more about offending—people or Jesus?  Where did the idea come from that Christians have to always be the one to back down from their beliefs for the sake of bringing ‘peace?’  There is a time to be a peacemaker but there’s also a time to bring division.  You don’t compromise your beliefs because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or because you want them to like you.

Those who are not Christians may try and use that against you and say, ‘you’re a Christian and you’re not being nice.  What kind of Christian are you?’  These people have a misunderstanding about Christianity and we as the Church have said, ‘I’m sorry you’re right,’ and have felt guilty for not being ‘nice!’

Now, before you say I’m preaching against being nice, I’m not saying we intentionally go out and offend people for we are to walk in the love of God and love is not rude according to 1 Corinthians 13.  And I’m not saying that we become judgmental and argumentative because Jesus said He didn’t come into the world to condemn the world but to save them (John 3:17).  When we are secure in our beliefs we can have enough confidence to stand in those beliefs and disagree with others without being rude about it (And there are times we may disagree without even vocalizing our disagreement depending on the situation).  I believe that those Christians who are argumentative with those who don’t agree with them are that way because they are not secure in their own beliefs.  We don’t have to always try and defend ourselves.

It seems that we either go too far one way or too far the other.  On the one hand we think we’re supposed to be nice so we float through life trying to please everyone and make them feel good and happy.  Then on the other hand we become super religious and theological and argue doctrine with people (We can become this way especially if we have built a whole ‘pet doctrine’ on something that is not true).

We do have to question ourselves at times and ask ourselves why something might make us so angry.  Is it because if it turns out we are wrong about a particular subject then we have to admit that what we’ve been saying all this time is really not true?  And if we have to admit we were wrong then we may have to change something in our life.  We might have to change our church.  We feel we can’t admit we were wrong because it would be too embarrassing, it would cost too much.

When you know the truth in your heart and are secure in it then you don’t feel threatened by those who disagree with you.  In fact, you will have more compassion on them.  There’s a difference between being rude and argumentative and simply taking a stand and not backing down from what you believe.  Those who disagree with you may accuse you of being rude, stubborn or closed minded when in fact you are simply taking a stand for your beliefs and not being rude about it at all.  Sometimes people are offended by that but that doesn’t mean you quit believing the truth because they are offended by it!

Once we as Christians realize that it’s O.K. for us to stand firm in our beliefs and not feel we have to apologize for them then we will be able to love the unlovable out of a sincere and willing heart and be able to do so in a way that doesn’t offend our Lord but rather brings glory to Him.

What it comes down to is that first of all you have to have confidence that your beliefs are according to the truth of God’s Word.  Examine your own heart to make sure you are ‘in the faith’ (2 Corinthians 13:5), and be open and honest enough before the Lord to admit any errors in your thinking.  That honest relationship with Him allows you to walk confidently, full of compassion for others but at the same time not feel shaken, threatened or intimidated when someone disagrees with you causing you to back down and turn into a wimpy Christian who is religious but has no power of God operating.

Much has been done in the name of ‘nice’ which has appeared to be good, peaceful, Christian character on the surface but in reality it’s deception at it’s best causing Christians to feel they have no right to believe the pure truth of God’s Word.  Don’t let this attitude turn you into a watered down, powerless Christian!

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